I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize