he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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