Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
