I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I have post one night stand depression
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
