Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry EricMuhFucknRoss hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(805): View more from California

In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career

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(815): View more from Illinois

i never told you how having a club foot got me laid

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car

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(815): View more from Illinois

I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment

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(940): View more from Texas

Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign

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(816): View more from Missouri

All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.

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