ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
