we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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