the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
