ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
