The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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