Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
