That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
