OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
