everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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