Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Terrible idea I love it
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
