I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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