its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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