what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
