that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
