You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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