Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
