I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
