I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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