Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
