He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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