I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
