what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
