I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Semen is not good for contacts.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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