Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Randomize
