Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
