I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's shark week go big or go home
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
