after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
