Pants 0. Shit 1.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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