bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize