I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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