I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize