did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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