we made out on top of his cat.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
