Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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