Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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