i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
