I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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