Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
