forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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