drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
