Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize