My friends, they love my intelligence
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Randomize