Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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