she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
