I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
