glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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