Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize