Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
