I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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