My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I had to cum in my sink.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
