Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
