I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
