Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
