Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
