He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
