before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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