We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
