I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
