That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
